My Diary

12/17/24

god forbids we ever end up together but i dont care what he thinks, i want to be able to see u smile before i go and if god really didnt want us to be together then maybe we shouldnt have crossed paths that day, maybe our eyes shouldnt have met tht day, maybe i shouldnt have waved and mumbled "goodbye" under my breath bc i was too shy, maybe we shouldnt have those random awkward conversations silently chuckling if the universe really forbid us from being together or maybe this was just a sign that i have to try even harder to get close to you before i have to leave, before i ever got the chance to even tell you that id be gone. if one day i were gone, would you ask around? or would you think i left volunteerily? i hope if that happens, id hope for you to reach out to me. but we both know we're both scared.

12/16/24

i still get hung up on your words, id never understand how can a person like you be so nice even when i act cold towards you but when really im just shy, i wonder how can you still treat me so well and smile while talking to me when all ive done is tease you, my face always feels so warm when im talking to you, i wonder if it shows on my face
you are like an awkward giant!!!! its so funny... you are so awkward but sometimes the things you say could really make a girl's heart race!!!! i wonder if you even notice it yourself... i dont think a person like you would even think about that, i dont like when you stare at me!!!! i cant even make eye contact with you, so shy!!!!